If you’re in the unfortunate position of having to maintain a long-distance relationship, then you’ll probably be expecting it to take quite a toll on you both and to test how much you really want to be with each other.
Being in a long-distance relationship is hard and it certainly does test your resolve, but it’s also key to remember that you already have something great going for you: the very fact that you’re trying shows that you must care a lot, and this means it’s very likely to all be worth it in the end.
Long-distance relationships require special attention to make them last. You can keep your love alive with these simple tips.
Try these techniques to keep in touch and help your relationship thrive:
Establish guidelines for contact.
It’s important to establish guidelines for how you’ll contact each other early in the relationship. One of the most common concerns voiced by couples is working out a schedule.
Will you call or email each other every day? How about once a week? It’s crucial that both of you are clear on how often you’ll speak with each other so neither of you have mistaken expectations. Expecting a contact and not getting it can lead to hurt feelings.
The way you contact each other is also important. Will you rely on your phones or do online video chats?
Maintain constant and consistent contact with each other.
Maintaining frequent, consistent contact is the single most important thing to do to ensure your relationship lasts across the distance. If you’re in a relationship, it only makes sense to be talking to them in some way, shape, or form on most days.
This might mean that you choose to call each other for half an hour before bed every night, or it might mean that you chat on Skype every other day and text a lot in-between.
Such constant contact will ensure you both know what’s going on in each other’s lives and help you feel close. When you talk, you won’t feel the need to catch up. You’ll be able to talk candidly about whatever’s on your mind.
Even across the miles, you’ll still be a big part of each other’s lives.
Discuss concerns as they arise.
Instead of waiting to talk about issues, try to discuss them right away to avoid resentment and anger. Long-distance relationships thrive on honesty and respect.
Clear communication is essential for maintaining a relationship.
Discuss your goals.
Distance in a relationship can change both people. Are your goals still the same?
Discussing your goals can help you establish a stronger relationship.
Do you plan to move back together? Do you want to get married eventually?
Serious discussions about your future are essential, but you’ll also want to talk about fun plans. The next time you see each other, what do you plan to do? Consider making reservations for a spectacular day or night of dining, dancing, and entertainment.
Make room for things not to go as planned.
Sometimes, you may have to take a rain check on that before-bed phone call, and that’s okay. It will help ensure that neither of you feels smothered by the other one.
Even so, it’s important to make an effort to commit to the call as often as you can. Otherwise, you’ll find yourselves growing more distant.
Recognize that you may have to move some things aside in order to make way for this relationship. Whether that means going out with friends a little less or quitting a hobby is up to you, but you will need to prioritize.
A relationship should take up your time, and that’s no different whether it’s long distance or not.
Be fun and spontaneous frequently.
Just because you’re not near each other doesn’t mean you can’t do fun and memorable things. You just have to be more creative.
Perhaps you could have a romantic date night through Skype where you each get dressed up and cook the same meal to enjoy with each other. Maybe you could watch a film at the same time or meet in virtual reality. Or perhaps you could make a surprise visit or send a surprise gift.
Whatever you decide to do together, the important thing is that you do something. Make memories and keep things exciting, so you grow together.
And when you do get the chance to visit in person… make sure you go!
Watch some of the same TV shows and read some of the same books.
You’ll want to have some common interests. Common interests form deeper bonds in relationships. Couples who share similar ideas are more likely to stay together.
You can still enjoy multiple television shows and books, but reading and watching several of them together will give you more topics to discuss.
Talking to each other every day can get boring, so it’s important to come up with creative ways to communicate.
Send your loved one a unique card or draw a picture.
Create a short video of your favorite moments together and get other family members to participate.
Sing a song and record it for your love.
Send things through the mail on occasion.
The element of surprise can help add sparks to a relationship.
Online communication is best for daily interactions. However, sending things through the post office on occasion can add a fun factor to the relationship. Cards, letters, photos, and other gifts are easy to mail.
Visit each other frequently.
One of the best ways to maintain a long-distance relationship is to see each other as often as possible.
Depending on the distance between you, visits can be expensive. You may want to meet in the middle and save travel costs by reducing the total distance.
Discuss family and friends.
Conversations about your family and friends can help you form stronger bonds. You’ll learn more about each other in the process.
Sometimes finding new topics to discuss every day can be tricky. You already talked about your work, pets, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. What else can you talk about and share? The lives of friends and family can provide ample material for conversations.
Be realistic with each other.
Remember that every time you meet your partner in a long-distance relationship, you’ll most likely treat the occasion as special and make more effort to do nice things. Try to remember that this isn’t what a relationship is like when you live near each other or when you live together.
Sometimes it’s important to try and experience a bit of ‘normality’ together, so how about spending a weekend doing nothing special, but doing it together?
A long-distance relationship can survive and even thrive. Take the time you need for each other and work in characteristics of the relationship you would have if you were closer to each other’s location. You can enjoy a long-distance relationship and make it last. These relationships just need special care and attention to thrive.
You might not be closer in miles, but you’ll be closer in your hearts.