10 Tips for Online Dating/ How to Distinguish Between Chemistry vs. Compatibility

Dating online can be a complicated process. Besides wanting to make a good impression with others that might be compatible with you, it’s also important to take your security into consideration.

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Learn how to combine these considerations into an online dating strategy that supports your dating goals.

Follow these timely tips for online dating:

  1. Create an effective bio. It may seem strange or unnatural to have to analyze and critique yourself, but having an empty profile looks suspicious. Spend a little time writing your bio. Include who you are, what you like, and what you’re looking for.
    • If you are unsure of what to write, ask for help from a friend or family member. You might find one who has been through this experience themselves.
  1. Choose the best photos. Ensure that the pictures you use are recent, in focus, and avoid using filters. Your photos should be clear, honest, and show you in the best light.
  1. Refrain from contacting those you meet too frequently. Even if you think you have clicked with someone, it’s important that you avoid contacting them too often. Send them messages approximately as often as they tend to communicate with you.
    • Sending them endless messages throughout the day before you have even met may end up giving them cold feet.
  1. Avoid stalking them on social media. While it may be tempting to spend a few hours going through their social media profiles, this might make you seem like a stalker. Remember, you have plenty of time to learn more about each other.
  1. Stay safe online. We have all read those horror stories about online dating. This is why you should only ever meet in a public place.
    • When the time has come to meet in person, tell your family or a friend where you are going so that they can check up on you if needed.
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  1. Meet somewhere comfortable. If you choose somewhere that makes you feel comfortable, you’ll be more relaxed and able to enjoy yourself more. When you’re more relaxed and enjoying the date, you also make a better first impression.
  1. Avoid talking about your ex. Even if your ex did break your heart, your new squeeze does not need to know. And you may come across as though you are not yet over them.
  1. Offer to pay. Whether you are male or female, this is the modern world where we are all equal. Even if you don’t end up paying for the whole date, it is polite to offer to pay for at least your own expenses.
  1. You can be selective. Even if you’ve been single for a while, you don’t have to go on a date with the first person who asks, especially if you’re not feeling a connection during your messages.
    • This also goes for the date itself: avoid feeling pressured into going home with someone or to agree to a second date if you aren’t feeling it.
  1. Avoid making them your world. You may have met the one, and it’s natural to want to spend as much time together as possible. However, it’s important that you don’t forget about everyone else in your life, or the hobbies or pastimes you used to enjoy.
    • These are all things that make you who you are, and without them, you are not going to be the same person.

If you’re looking for love online, these strategies can help you navigate the world of online dating. Online dating can be a minefield but finding ‘the one’ will be worth the effort.

How to Distinguish Between Chemistry vs. Compatibility

Chemistry is that initial rush at the beginning of the romance. It’s such a passionate, quick, and powerful feeling that it’s easy to confuse chemistry with compatibility.

While chemistry is what initially attracts you to someone, compatibility is looking beyond that initial stage of attraction and evaluating the way you align with someone else’s lifestyle choices and values.

Chemistry and compatibility don’t always overlap. You might feel those passionate feelings of chemistry with someone yet ultimately lack compatibility.

However, compatibility is an essential part of an intimate and long-term partnership. Paying attention to how compatible you are with someone helps you decide if you want to be in a long-term relationship with them.

What Chemistry Looks Like

Chemistry is that initial, passionate spark you feel at the beginning of a romance.

You might feel the chemistry when you have so much in common with someone that it gives you butterflies before dinner. You’re attracted to their physical appearance, their accomplishments, their career, or even the conversations you have with them.

The feelings that come from chemistry are so strong that it’s easy to confuse chemistry with compatibility. 

It’s common to feel most comfortable choosing partners based on chemistry. Having chemistry with someone else is exciting. But choosing partners only based on chemistry might cause you to overlook how compatible you are with that person’s lifestyle choices and values.

What Compatibility Looks Like

Compatibility looks beyond the initial stage of attraction. Compatibility means evaluating how a person will fit into your everyday life and if there is long-term potential as a couple. Compatibility means looking at if you align with a person, their lifestyle choices, and their values.

Gauging compatibility starts with knowing what you want in a long-term partner.

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Here are questions you can ask yourself to decide if you are compatible with someone else: 

  1. How does the person you’re dating deal with their feelings? How do they handle anger, stress, and sadness?
  2. How does this person act when around their friends, family, or at a restaurant?
  3. What are the values that guide this person’s life (such as marriage, children, politics, religion)? Do those values align with your own? If not, do you accept that?
  4. What goals do you have in life? Does the person that you’re dating share those same goals?

Figuring out whether or not you’re compatible with someone doesn’t mean that you deal with everything in the same way. It just means evaluating how well a person fits into your everyday life in the long run. 

When you learn to ask yourself these questions about compatibility, you can build a relationship on shared values and deep mutual respect. Choosing a partner based on compatibility helps build a relationship that lasts through the hardest times.

Here are 5 signs that you’re compatible in your relationship:

  1. There is mutual respect.
  2. You accept your partner as they are and admire them for it. You don’t spend your time wishing they would do anything differently.
  3. Your partner accepts you for who you are and doesn’t try to change you.
  4. You and your partner uplift each other and validate each other’s perspective.
  5. You share similar lifestyle choices and goals.

Dating is tricky. Compatibility and chemistry don’t always go hand in hand.

When you’re dating someone, it’s important to think about how well a person fits into your life. Gauging compatibility means digging deeper beyond initial attraction and surface-level interests. 

Chemistry is what pulls two people together. Compatibility is what will help the relationship last when the initial spark fades and reality sets in.

When you learn to look for how compatible you are with someone else, you will have an easier time deciding whether or not you are a good match.

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