Hey guys welcome to another episode of the podcast today I’m going to be delving A BIT DEEPER INTO WHAT GOES INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH The 4 Basic Components To A Healthy Relationship. Now last Wednesday I talked about the 10 C’s Of Survival In Relationships, but that’s kind of advanced stuff SO I GOT TO THINKING AND DECIDED TO DO A FOLLOW UP.
Ok now I just want to say that I am not a relationship expert be any sense of the word. What I’m about to say is SOLELY my opinion on what goes into a healthy relationship. I welcome all comments, criticisms and suggestions if they are respectful.
I was recently talking with My girlfriend and she mentioned that her bestie felt that her relationship with me was “not a real relationship* because we are in a long distance relationship. This got me to thinking about what goes into a real relationship. I broke things down until I got to the four essential things that I felt make up a real/healthy relationship. Couple this with The 10 C’s Of Survival (In Relationships) and you and your significant other will be a powerhouse!
THE FIRST IS Compatibility
Yeah, you’re probably thinking shouldn’t love be first. Yes, love is a key component but think about it like this, how can you be in a relationship with someone if you’re not compatible with them? They say opposites attract but that’s only when the contrasts are complementary which means they are compatible, but for this we’re talking about being incompatible with one another. Compatibility is the ground on which your relationship is built on, without it what you’ve built will eventually fall apart. You may love them and want to be with them, but if you’re going one way and they’re going another it may be to hard to do this. He wants to settle down and have kids and you want to jet set and backpack across Europe.
THE NEXT ONE IS Communication
Let’s say you both have the same goals and interests, you’re compatible to a tee. Now you must sit down and discuss your plans for the future. How do you do this if there’s no communication or poor communication? How can I trust you to pick up our future kids from preschool if you can’t text me and let me know you decided to have drinks with the guys after work? Communication is vital to any relationship, it’s the foundation for which the rest of the relationship is built upon. You may have the same goals, but poor communication can hinder you from achieving them together.
NEXT ON OUR LIST IS Trust
Trust is the framework of the relationship without it the relationship will collapse in on itself. How can you build and move forward with someone if you’re constantly worried, they’re going to leave you or cheat on you? You can’t put up walls in a house without the framework to support them. Trust is so important especially in the BDSM lifestyle. You must trust that you both have each other’s backs and that you will each hold up your end of the relationship.
LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST IS Love.
True and unconditional love can only be expressed if the rest of the relationship is there. I can’t 100% love you if I can’t trust you, we can’t communicate or we’re going in two separate directions. I can’t be in love if your end of the relationship we’re building is falling apart. In this age of dating apps and swipe to the left mentality we often overlook these simple yet vital components. We want so bad to have that someone to be with that we rush in with the idea that love will hold everything together only to lose everything we built to haste. I urge you to take some time, get to know the person you wish to be with. Go out on dates, take a walk in the park, learn what makes them who they are and slowly reveal yourself to them and just maybe you might get your forever and always.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT THOSE ARE THE 4 KEY COMPONENTS TO A REAL/HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. TO THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP AS LONG AS YOU HAVE THESE KEY COMPONENTS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS A REAL AS ANYONE ELSE’S.
NOW BEFORE I GET INTO THE NEXT PART OF THE PODCAST I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS TIME TO SAY THAT IF YOU ARE ENJOYING THIS AND ANY OTHER CONTENT OF MINE AND YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT IT’S SUPER EASY. IF YOU’RE LISTNENING ON ANCHOR.FM ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CLICH THE SUPPORT BUTTON THERE YOU’LL BE GIVEN 3 OPTIONS: $.99 $4.99 AND $9.99. NOW YOU’RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHAT I COULD DO WITH 99 CENTS? ANY AND ALL MONEY WILL BE PUT INTO PRODUCING MY CONTENT. AND JUST THINK THAT YOU CAN GET IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR AND BE ABLE TO SAY SEE HIS CONTENT, IT WOULDN’T BE POSSIBLE WITHOUT MY SUPPORT. SO IF YOU LIKE THE CONTENT I PUT OUT THAT’S ONE OF THE WAY YOU CAN SHOW YOUR SUPPORT.
NOW THIS NEXT PART CAME TO ME WHILE I WAS SCROLLING THROUGH TWITTER I CAME ACROSS A TWEET THAT A WOMAN I FOLLOW MADE WHERE SHE RETWEETED ANOTHER WOMEN’S POST. THE POST READ:
WHAT’S THE POINT OF DATING IF THE GOAL ISN’T MARRIAGE?
THIS IMMEDIATELY MADE ME CRINGE AND GOT ME TO THINKING OF THINGS WE SET AS LIFE GOALS THAT WE SHOULDN’T. SO HERE ARE IN MY OPINION THE 3 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SET AS A LIFE GOAL.
NUMBER 1 IS A RELATIONSHIP
A RELATIONSHIP IN MY OPINION SHOULD NEVER BE A LIFE GOAL. THINK ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND, WHEN YOU WERE A KID DID YOU SAY, “I’M GONNA HAVE A BESTFRIEND BEFORE I’M 10!” IF YOU ANSWERED YES YOU WERE A WEIRD KID, BUT SERIOUSLY WE DIDN’T DO THAT WE MET SOMEONE WE CLICKED THEY BECAME OUR FRIEND AND THEN IN SOME TIME THEY BECAME OUR BEST FRIEND. IT ALL HAPPENED NATURALLY, SO WHY IS IT THAT AS ADULTS WE PUT SO MUCH EMPHASIS ON ESTABLISHING A RELATIONSHIP BY A SET TIME? I FEEL LIKE SOCIAL PRESSURE VIA MOVIES AND TV, MAGAZINES AND PEERS PLAY A HUGE ROLE IN THIS. ALSO IT’S A STATUS SYMBOL TO BE WITH SOMEONE JUST AS MUCH IF NOT MORE SO THAN A HIGH PAYING JOB OR A LUXURY CAR IS. YOU WOULD THINK WE WOULD WANT SOMETHING AS IMPORTANT AS A RELATIONSHIP THAT COULD LEAD TO MARRIGE AND MORE TO BE SOMETHING THAT DEVELOPED NATURALLY OVER TIME SO THAT A STRONG BOND SUCH AS THAT OF A CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND COULD FORM.
NEXT ONE THE LIST IS HAVING CHILDREN.
HAVING CHILDREN CAN BE PART OF A GOAL OR PLAN LIKE WE’RE NOT GOING TO HAVE KIDS UNTIL WE ARE MORE FINANCIALLLY STABLE, BUT THEY SHOULD NEVER BE A GOAL UNTO THEMSELVES LIKE I’M GOING TO HAVE 4 KIDS BY THE TIME I’M 30. KIDS ARE ALSO A NATURAL PROGRESSION OF A RELATIONSHIP. JUST THINK OF IT LIKE THIS YOU’RE REDUCING CREATINF AND BRINGING A HUMAN BEING INTO THE WORLD TO AN ITEM ON A CHECKLIST.
LASTLY BEING OR BECOMING RELIGIOUS.
IF YOU’RE A BELIEVER MORE POWER TO YOU AND IF YOU’RE NOT THEN MORE POWER TO YOU AS WELL. LET’S LOOK AT RELIGION THE SAME WAY A BELIEVER LOOKS AT IT, AS A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD THAT IS MUCH LIKE THE ONE YOU HAVE WITH YOUR PARENTS AND LOVED ONES. THAT MEANS IT SHOULD ALSO HAPPEN NATURALLY. YOU SHOULDN’T SAY THINGS LIKE IN 2021 I’M GONNA GO TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY BECAUSE YOU ARE ULTIMATELY YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FO FAILURE.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT THE 4 COMPONENTS TO A REAL/HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP AND THE 3 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SET AS LIFE GOALS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TUNING IN AND REMEMBER: IT’S NOT Just ABOUT POETRY, IT’S ABOUT LIFE!