The 4 Components For A Real/Healthy Relationship

Disclaimer: I am not a relationship expert be any sense of the word. This writing is solely my opinion on what goes into a healthy relationship. I welcome all comments, criticisms and suggestions if they are respectful.

I was recently talking with My little girl and she mentioned that her bestie felt that her relationship with me was “not a real relationship* because we are open. This got me to thinking about what goes into a real relationship. I broke things down until I got to the four essential things that I felt make up a real/healthy relationship. Couple this with The 10 C’s Of Survival (In Relationships) and you and your significant other will be a powerhouse!


Yeah, you’re probably thinking shouldn’t love be first. Yes, love is a key component but think about it like this, how can you be in a relationship with someone if you’re not compatible with them? They say opposites attract but that’s only when the contrasts are complementary which means they are compatible, but for this we’re talking about being incompatible with one another. Compatibility is the ground on which your relationship is built on, without it what you’ve built will eventually fall apart. You may love them and want to be with them, but if you’re going one way and they’re going another it may be to hard to do this. He wants to settle down and have kids and you want to jet set and backpack across Europe.


Let’s say you both have the same goals and interests, you’re compatible to a tee. Now you must sit down and discuss your plans for the future. How do you do this if there’s no communication or poor communication? How can I trust you to pick up our future kids from preschool if you can’t text me and let me know you decided to have drinks with the guys after work? Communication is vital to any relationship, it’s the foundation for which the rest of the relationship is built upon. You may have the same goals, but poor communication can hinder you from achieving them together.


Trust is the framework of the relationship without it the relationship will collapse in on itself. How can you build and move forward with someone if you’re constantly worried, they’re going to leave you or cheat on you? You can’t put up walls in a house without the framework to support them. Trust is so important especially in the BDSM lifestyle. You must trust that you both have each other’s backs and that you will each hold up your end of the relationship.


Last but certainly not least is love. True and unconditional love can only be expressed if the rest of the relationship is there. I can’t 100% love you if I can’t trust you, we can’t communicate or we’re going in two separate directions. I can’t be in love if your end of the relationship we’re building is falling apart.

In this age of dating apps and swipe to the left mentality we often overlook these simple yet vital components. We want so bad to have that someone to be with that we rush in with the idea that love will hold everything together only to lose everything we built to haste. I urge you to take some time, get to know the person you wish to be with. Go out on dates, take a walk in the park, learn what makes them who they are and slowly reveal yourself to them and just maybe you might get your forever and always.

And as always…

Thank you for reading!!!

© Seductive Poetry


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